Loving the way my fiancé likes to be loved
Every person experiences love in a unique way. Some gestures of love will more powerfully communicate love to you than others. For example, some people feel close and connected when they can physically touch the other person. Others demonstrate love through words of affirmation or affection, acts of service or thoughtfulness, or by spending time in intimate conversation. Still others feel deeply loved and connected through eye contact or other body language.
Both you and your fiancé will instinctively give love in the way that you most like to receive it; we naturally expect the way we most powerfully experience love must be the same for others. However, the reality is that, more often than not, your fiancé will experience love differently to you. This means that, in order to be effective in your efforts to love, you will need to learn how your fiancé wants and needs to be loved rather than trying to love them the way you feel most loved; to love by intention rather than by instinct.
When you understand what is important to your fiancé, then you can choose to give love to your fiancé in exactly the way he or she best experiences it. This is smart loving: loving your fiancé the way they most like and need to be loved.
SmartLoving is genuine loving because it’s other-centred and is focused on loving them on their terms rather than your own. It is also smart, because it’s effective. It helps you to target your efforts to love towards what will truly communicate love.